Today I was contemplating all the things that I’m passionate about. One of the things that stood out to me was “sharing”. I love sharing. Whether its sharing food, drink, time, energy or resources, it brings warmth to my heart. And even though I know this, sometimes I’m just a stingy little bastard! 🙂 But, why? What shuts down the part of me that wants to share? I think its fear — fear of scarcity, loss and/or failure. Deep down there is a fear that if I give somebody something, it’ll be gone forever. Meaning, I’ll miss out on it. Now of course that seems trivial — so what if I miss out on it?! But what I’m “missing out on” is that which the item represents. Somehow the object (for clarity let’s say we’re talking about a tasty little french fry) is a key to finding happiness, fulfillment, joy, etc. If I give someone that french fry, I’m giving away my ability to find joy and happiness.
Now even though this seems absurd, its how we think as human beings! We are constantly looking for completion, fulfillment, enlightenment, joy, etc. outside of ourselves. And in order to find it outside of ourselves, we have to believe that objects and people will provide us with what we are missing. This is the exact idea that commercials capitalize on — If you drive a Mazda, you’ll have freedom; If you buy Oreos, you’ll be happy; If you drink Coors Light, you’ll be sexy; etc. And we buy these things and find out we still feel incomplete. As long as we believe happiness comes from outside of ourselves, there is a part of us that will always want to hold on to everything we have. Because if we “lose” the things we have, we believe we will lose what the things represent to us.
And the irony of the whole situation is that hoarding and selfishness only encourages fear and feelings of inadequacy. True fulfillment comes from the act of sharing. Because when we share our time, resources and energy we are also sharing our love, support and appreciation. Let’s take it back to the tasty little french fry mentioned earlier. If a part of you believes that the french fry will make you happy and you truly share it with a friend, you are sharing the ability to be happy. And as a result, you become happy. The act of giving completes us because we inherently understand that our time, resources and energy are boundless. Instead of searching outside of ourselves for happiness, we find what we are seeking inside ourselves. And when we share we remind ourselves that we don’t need anything outside ourselves to complete us. When we share we strengthen our faith in abundance and prosperity.
Our thoughts create our reality, and our actions reflect our thoughts. Next time you have an impulse to be selfish, ask yourself what your underlying belief is. Is there a fear of scarcity, inadequacy or failure present? If so, let it go and change your thought to something like “I am whole and complete — I need nothing.” Let this new thought sink in and then act accordingly…