But what if you’re soul wasn’t broken up? What if your soul was complete, whole and beautiful inside of you? What if you’re not “incomplete”, but you only think you are?

A friend reminded me today of a quote in the New Testament. Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Look at that quote, and I’m sure the words that stand out to you are “love” and “neighbor”. But what about “thyself”? When’s the last time you loved yourself or were generous to yourself? When’s the last time you forgave yourself for doing something you regretted? When’s the last time you treated yourself to something special? When’s the last time you loved yourself like you’d love your soulmate?

Love is a quality that cannot be found because it cannot be lost. Love always lives within each and every one of us. Sometimes we might not be present to the feeling of love because we deny it within ourselves. But it’s always there — waiting for us to let go of the hose so that it can easily flow out. Love is always available for us! And if love’s always available for us, what’s stopping you from letting it be present for you? You might be holding a grudge against someone who has wronged you, and so you hold back the love. You might be worried about a deadline or being safe in the future, and so you hold back the love. You might even be beating yourself up about something you wish you hadn’t done, and so you hold back the love. But ultimately who’s being denied the love? It’s you! And who’s denying you the feeling of love? You too! And if you knew you were consciously denying love to your soulmate, would you keep love from him/her? Or would you do everything in your power to make sure your soulmate felt comforted, supported and loved?

As Christmas and the Holidays are upon us, and we share tidings of comfort and joy, let us remember that the expression of joy and love start from within ourselves. If we treat ourselves as our soulmates, we have no reason to withhold love from our life. In fact, we have every reason to stoke the love-fire of our soul and give blessing for the fact that we really are whole, perfect and complete. And as we allow our light to shine, we give people the opportunity to unleash their own love within themselves. And to me that’s the true meaning of Christmas! Do you hear what I hear? It’s your soul wanting to share it’s love with the world! Let it out to play. And Happy Holidays!

I always find myself inspired after watching spectacles where a crowd comes together to share joy with each other and other people. I think it’s because there’s a palpable sense of happiness that spreads to everyone around. It’s as if a switch turns everyone from “Auto-pilot” to “Present”. And it reminds me that the world is filled with possibilities — that there’s a larger world out there that makes fears and worries seem trivial and small.

It’s easy to think about negative events that could befall us, but that’s only because that’s our habit. It’s harder to think about positive events that could uplift us, because we spend too much time thinking about the shouldn’ts and the couldn’ts and the uh-oh’s and the wrongs. However, we can train ourselves to spend more time thinking about the greater world of joy that we all know is out there — that we all know we can experience and that we have experienced. And the best way to start is to have something that wakes us up — something that reminds us that beauty and possibility are around us — something that inspires us to think outside of our own little box. And in this light, I present to you this video. For, as we know, the joy is in the experiencing, and the joy is in the sharing!

What’s wild is that last week I was wondering what it would be like to go a whole day, or even a whole week without speaking. I was thinking about James Earl Jones and how he was silent for the bulk of his adolescent years. Then he spoke and out came the voice of Darth Vader (or maybe at that age it sounded more like Dark Helmet). I guess you could say my wondering became a fascination and then a reality. Funny how that happens…

Tomorrow is a school day, and I’m wondering if my voice will be healed and ready for use. Especially since I teach four classes on Mondays: Stage Combat at 8am, Voice & Diction at 10am & 11am, and then Sophomore Performance Studio at 1pm. I’m having visions of carrying around a big yellow legal pad and a black Sharpie all day. Maybe I’ll prepare a few phrases like “Oh, I’m fine. How are you? Isn’t this lovely weather we’re having?” Or maybe I’ll turn the whole day into a giant game of charades! “Two words….one syllable…sounds like….sounds like a Julia Roberts’ movie?!”

Overall, what I’m learning from this experience is the power of silence. I’m learning that if I don’t speak a word, my life will still be fine. And I hope that what will continue to resonate once my voice returns is the silent strength in the unvoiced communication. Because, whether we speak or not, we are always conveying a message. And maybe, just maybe, we use our voices because we’re afraid of the silence.

The idea was “Get leverage on yourself!”. It’s a phrase spoken by Anthony Robbins. It means that if you want to make a change, you need to make the change seem less painful than what you already have. In other words, you need to make your current situation seem unbearable and envision your desired change as intensely pleasurable. As a result, you will propel yourself into action.

For example, when I was jogging and a part of me wanted to stop, I looked at my beliefs. I realized that I believed jogging an extra mile would just feel excruciatingly painful and wouldn’t really help me get into better shape. I also believed that stopping the jog would feel wonderful and pleasurable. Once I realized this, I found a way to change my beliefs. I said to myself, “If you stop now, you’ll stay out of shape and you’ll just get fatter and depressed.”

Immediately, a part of me became alarmed while another part of me sarcastically replied, “Oh really!”

So I added a sales pitch: “But if you run an extra mile, you’ll feel a runner’s high, a sense of accomplishment and healthier!”

I started to become intrigued, but the idea of continuing to exercise still seemed more painful than stopping.   So I added a visual image and a feeling to the thoughts. I imagined myself with a huge pot belly sitting in a darkened room in the middle of the day while a TV flickered the latest taping of  Dr. Phil. “This,” I said, “is what will happen if you stop jogging right now!”

I felt slightly upset. The idea of having my life dissolve into a depressed, gigantic mess was unbearable. So to perk up my spirits I thought about what life would look like after the second mile. I imagined myself as a muscular and super toned athlete looking at myself in a mirror while golden beams of sunlight poured into the room and made everything glow. “This,” I said, “is your destiny if you keep exercising!”

At that moment, I got excited. My entire body seemed to fill with joy, and I just kept running! The second mile wasn’t easy. I kept wanting to stop. But the new thoughts and images motivated me to keep going. Finally, I reached the two mile mark and I couldn’t believe it. I was flooded with joy and did the only thing that made sense at the time — I yelled, “Wa hoo!”

So what about you? What’s something in your life that could use some leverage? Maybe you want to get that bikini body you’ve always wanted (guys, you know I’m talking to you! ). Maybe you’re tired of the work you do and you want to pursue your dream job. Maybe your relationship has fizzled and you want to add more romance into the equation. Whatever it is you want, you’ve got to change your perspective to make it a reality. The fears of uncertainty and pain are what’s been stopping you. They’ve been making it easy for you to slowly suffer in resignation. So flip the tables! Start finding ways to see those extra pounds, that 9 to 5 monotony, and that boring relationship as uncomfortably painful. Make it so unbearable that you are compelled to take action to change it. And envision your desired future as incredibly pleasurable so that you’ve got motivation to stay in action. It all starts with a thought shift. So what are you waiting for? Get leverage on yourself!

Money is energy. And now that I have extra money freed up, I’m feeling a little unbalanced — as if I’ve grown wings and a strong wind is taking me up to the sky. I have to keep reminding myself not to go on a spending spree. Over the last three years I’ve been pinching pennies. If I could save $3 a meal by eating at home, I would find a way to make it happen. If I could save $2 by ordering multiple sides on a menu instead of an entree, I’d do it. If  I could save $20 on a new shirt by waiting for it to go on sale, I would wait. Basically, my will to get out of debt made me hunker down on my finances to make the dream a reality. But some days it felt like the dream would stay a dream. Some months I had to scale back what I was paying towards my debt in order to accommodate some emergency expenditures. And when this happened my heart did grow weary. Sometimes I feared that the odyssey towards financial freedom would never end. But now the Scylla and Charybdis of debt have been slain, and I’m excited to enter a new realm of thinking. A mindset where the idea of building wealth finally seems like a viable possibility.

It’s amazing what can happen if you just stay on course. It’s easy to get discouraged when you face a long and difficult road.  It’s easy to give up and sink into a state of resignation. But if you stay on course and foller your way, you will eventually find a great fortune. You may find financial freedom. You may find “true love” and companionship. You may even find success beyond your wildest dreams. But you’ll only find it if you start the journey and keep on traveling.

Is there something you’ve given up on? Or is there something you’ve been wanting to do that you haven’t done? Well, then get off your butt and get started! Fear not the obstacles in your path because the road is pregnant with adventure, and Fate has vouchsafed your reward.

“Walking away from the Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do…This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it…But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian – every comedian dreams of hosting the Tonight Show, and for seven months I got to do it! And I did it my way with people I love. I do not regret one second of anything that we’ve done here. You know, I encounter people when I walk on the street now who give me sort of a sad look. I have had more good fortune than anybody I know. And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we will find a way to make it fun…I don’t want to do it in a 7-11 parking lot! But, whatever…Finally, I have something to say to our fans. This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming to me…Here’s what all of you have done: you made a sad situation joyous and inspirational. So to all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me. I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. And all I ask is one thing — I’m asking this particularly of young people that watch — please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen! I’m telling you, amazing things will happen! I’m telling you — It’s just true!”

Like Conan, you also have the ability to choose gratitude and let go of cynicism. Why is this important? Because your attitude and emotional focus affects you and the people around you.  Everytime you speak to someone, there is an underlying attitude you are sharing with them. And that attitude has the ability to inspire joy or dampen it. The minute you start gossiping about how bad someone is, you are sinking yourself and your listeners into a pit of negativity. When you complain about how bad the day is going, you leave the people around you incomplete. But when you share gratitude, you lift up everyone around you.

Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the positive because fears and insecurities get triggered when something unexpected occurs. But you always have the ability to see a situation from a different perspective. No matter how bad something seems, there is always a way to be grateful about it. Conan could’ve focused on how NBC was betraying him. He could’ve focused on the loss of the Tonight Show and how he may never host anything like it again. But he didn’t! He choose to focus on the outpouring of love and support he was getting from his viewers. He choose to focus on the wonderful times he’s had at NBC and how they’ve allowed him to become who he is today. He choose to be grateful! The next time you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about something, stop. Stop and choose gratitude. It will make a difference for you and everyone around you!

Jack Canfield in The Success Principles makes a distinction between the ideas of Commitment and Interest. He says that a person who is interested in something will work towards obtaining it if he/she feels like. And a person who is committed to something will work towards obtaining it no matter what he/she feels like.  Basically, interests are subject to your emotions and desires and commitment is subject to nothing. Looking at my progress at the banjo over the last week, I realize I’m actually committed to learning how to play it! And cool things are happening. For instance, my left hand is starting to hit chords before I think about trying to make them — muscle memory is finding moments to break through the clouds of awkwardness and uncertainty. It’s wild and fun! In addition, I’m starting to hear the roll patterns (plucking patterns) in some Bela Fleck songs.

So what about you? Are there things in your life that you’ve wanted to accomplish but you haven’t? Maybe there’s a musical instrument of your own that you’ve always longed to play. Or perhaps you’ve wanted to get in better shape or run a half marathon. There might even be a country you’ve been dying to travel to for years…No matter what reasons you give yourself for not pursuing these things, know that it all boils down to commitment. It’s never that you don’t have enough time, coordination or money. It’s that you’re only interested in achieving what you want. And interest isn’t enough to consistently get you off the couch and into action. If you really want something, get committed! If you’re committed to getting in better shape, you’ll find a way to exercise in the middle of a snow storm (hmmmm….what happens if I run up and down this small flight of stairs for 30 minutes…). If you’re only interested in getting in better shape, the snow storm will give you an excuse to stay flabby.

Sometimes it’s good to stay interested. When you’re interested in something, your curiosity helps you gather more information about it. And sometimes you need more information before you can commit to it. But eventually you’ll want to get off the fence. Making a commitment to exercise daily or making a commitment to stay on the couch and eat more potato chips is wonderful. It’s the lack of commitment one way or another that creates issues. Mainly because it’s really uncomfortable to be on the fence about something. (After all, it’s hard to sit on those sharp wooden posts. ) Commitment helps you jump off on one side or the other. So what are you waiting for? What’s something that you really want to accomplish, have or be? Stop being interested and get committed!

The quote “the sky’s not falling” jumped out at me with a crack, as if it was lined to me from the swing of a wooden bat. And I realized that when I get lost in worry, I think the sky IS falling! Of course, I’m speaking metaphorically here. I had never thought of worry from that angle before…When we worry we forget about all of the wonderful blessings around us, and we spiral into a torrential sea of worry. Why do we worry? Because we think the sky is falling, and if we don’t figure out how to stop it soon, we’ll be crushed.  But the sky isn’t falling, and this is something to remember when times get tough…or when a light snow starts to fall in Mississippi! (As I’m writing this post, it’s snowing outside. Keep in mind, the streets are clear and the snow isn’t sticking to them. But that hasn’t stopped Henny Penny from closing down all the schools for the day and Loosey Goosey and Ducky Lucky from raiding the grocery stores. )

If you look at Bobby Bowden’s career over the last 20 years, you see some incredible achievements and losses. Under his reign FSU won 2 National Championships, two of his players won the Heisman, and, at one point, he was the all-time winningest coach in college football! But on a darker note, many of his players were expelled for cheating, some of his players were arressted for stealing, and he lost the all-time winningest coach title when the NCAA stripped him of some of his wins! I can only imagine what it must feel like to achieve the epitome of success in your field and then have the carpet yanked out from under you. Yet no matter what has happend, Bobby seems to revert back to that simple idea — “the sky’s not falling”. How does he do it? I think it all boils down to his gratitude for his family. No matter what happens on the field, he still has the people he loves most in life. His children, wife and grandkids remind him that he is loved and cherished. In a nut shell, he chooses to focus on and be grateful for all the things he has.

Whenever you get lost in worry and concern, tell yourself that the sky’s not falling. Even if times seem troubled and filled with hardship, you can choose to focus on things you love and that fill you with a sense of gratitude. Being grateful for the people in your life, your health, your successes, etc. reminds you that things are better than you realize. If being grateful in itself doesn’t fully silence the Chicken Little that’s running around in your head, call a loved one and appreciate the time they’re sharing with you over the phone. Worry begets worry, and gratitude begets gratitude!

Why do we renig on our resolutions? I think it’s because we make declarations based on unrealistic expectations. The phrase “I’m going to eat better!” conjures up images of delicious vegetables, bowls of cut fruit, whole grains and ______________ (insert your favorite lean-protein option here). But where will all this food come from? Is a magical chef going to teleport in to your home and prepare a healthy meal for you every night? And even if you are preparing to cook this wonderful food, what’s your back-up plan when you come home late from work and just want something quick and comforting? The fact of the matter is “I’m going to eat better!” is too vague to withstand the onslaught of daily living. It gives you no way to measure your results, nor does it give you a defining goal to work towards. But how do you craft a simple resolution with measurable results that will last for the entire year?

The answer: I don’t think you do! Instead of making one resolution for the entire year, why not choose to make a new resolution every three months? This way you can focus your energies on one resolution each quarter of the year. You can even set a goal that is identifiable — meaning you will know without a doubt whether you achieve or not. You can even set a timeline. Here are some examples:

1. “I’m going to lose 10 pounds by March 31, 2010.”

2. “I’m going to cook a healthy meal at home twice a week until January 31, 2009.”

3. “I’m going to do yoga three times a week until February 28, 2009.”

By giving yourself a timeline you mentally prepare yourself to carry through on your commitment. And you have a higher probability of actually doing what you say you’re going to do. Once your timeline passes you can even choose to continue doing the activities you’ve been doing. In fact, you might find you’ve created a new habit! So instead of staking your desires on a vague full-year resolution, split ‘em up! If the idea of a “Quarterly Resolution” doesn’t work for you, do a “Monthly Resolution”. The whole purpose of a resolution is to give you a situation in which to focus your passion and energies. What is it that you want to do this year? What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to be? It all starts with a statement. And that statement is…